all i do is procrastinate and masturbate
Thank you for everything you do. I’ve worked in bars and there is a HUGE difference between a bouncer who is aware of the energy of the room, good at reading people, able to keep an eye on and dispose of sketchy people, etc, and a bouncer who does the bare minimum of their job and ignores obvious harassment until it gets really bad.
seriously thanks! i kinda love telling this story:
so i’m out at a bar in the summer and it’s pretty crowded. i’m wearing a super cute skirt and some nice heels and i’m feeling pretty great. i’m standing in line to get to the bar and get a drink and suddenly i feel some guy’s hand ON MY ASS, UNDER MY SKIRT. i turn around and tel him forcefully to not touch me and he goes all “hey, whatever, that wasn’t me, that was that guy” while smirking and nodding at the all the guys around. literally nobody responds.
so i turn back around and within a minute he’s grabbing my ass AGAIN and this time he’s getting rather familiar with my person. so i spin around, look him in the eye, and tell him “DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME.” he smirks again and just ignores me. by this time everyone around us is visibly uncomfortable. i’ve been loud enough that the bartender has heard us.
so finally i turn around and wait and this dumbass motherfucker grabs my ass AGAIN under my skirt. so i reach around, grab his hand, and twist his index finger to the left. it pops audibly and i know it’s broken. i spin around and yell, “I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME.”
he’s holding his hand up and his right index finger is bent all crooked. he makes a little whimpering noise and looks to the bartender for support. the bartender looks right back and says, “she told you not to fucking touch her. get the fuck out.” the bouncer is suddenly there to politely escort the man outside, holding his fucked up finger the whole time.
plus, of COURSE he left without paying his tab so i thanked the bartender for his support and offered to pay it - i don’t wanna screw over my favorite bar. the bartender gallantly refuses and the rest of my night goes well.
and, on my way out of the bar, the bouncer insists on walking to my car. his words were “you never know what a stupid motherfucker’s gonna do.” and of course, the asshole is skulking around outside waiting for me to leave. he takes one look at the bouncer and runs off. so this bouncer and bartender not only supported me defending myself, they went out of their way to make sure i felt safe at their bar and on my way home.
still my favorite bar. and my favorite bouncer ever. dude, wherever you are, you have my gratitude.
just wanted to share this great story for the anon bouncer person.
imagine getting drafted into war and seeing your internet buddy there
"holy shit, is that you, bongfucker666?"
I love that feeling you get when you don’t remember that you’re reading. When you’re so captured by a book that you forget you’re reading the words. All you see is the descriptions and conversations that being to play out like a movie in your head. You don’t even think about it. Then before you know it, you’ve read 100 pages without realizing it. That’s probably the best feeling in the world.
you ever wanna fuck the living shit outta somebody but also cook for them and make sure they’re emotionally stable?
i feel like if a girl touches your dick you should be nice to her and make her laugh and do cool things for her besides rub her clit. like hey lets go to the aquarium cuz thanks for puttin my balls in your mouth